Tag Archives: secondary infertility

Running and other things

IMG_2400I was reading an article in Runner’s World about the folks who don’t like races. The one woman in the story was described as saying, “Never again!” after her first (and only) half-marathon. It wasn’t her thing. She said, running with others in mind and worrying about times and all those technical things just changed running for her.

I learn through analogies and so my mind immediately drew a parallel to fertility. Or rather, infertility.  Most people plan to have a baby that do the necessary things <ahem>, this is a family-friendly blog, people.  Never do they anticipate blood work, doctor’s appointments, surgeries, medicines or a myriad of other surprises.

People think of infertility and they think of some picture in their head of a couple never able to have a child. That picture is completely accurate. There is also something called secondary infertility which I never knew about until I was diagnosed with it. In essence it is having had a “viable pregnancy” (one that resulted in a healthy baby or more) and then not being able to do so again. And like so many medical diagnoses it is a bit of a catchall. It could be caused by many different things or may never be able to be categorized.

The results look mostly the same. People who have more love to give, but lack the conduit they wish for fall into this category. There are also folks whom I admire greatly. These are the people who douse their pets (or fur babies) with tons of love, there are those who embrace additional passions that might not otherwise have time for, and there are those who graciously accept God’s will for them (not unlike the families with 7, 8, 10 and 19 children do).

And, really, isn’t that why we’re here to humbly and graciously accept God’s love and his many gifts to us (even if they didn’t come in the packaging we expected)?

‘Tis the season


It’s that time of year again.  Time to decorate, bake cookies, wrap gifts, write cards (more writing people – buck up!), shoveling snow (depending on your locale, obviously), drinking hot chocolate, going to markets and awaiting the wonderful gifts this season has to offer. 

One of those gifts is the arrival of relatives long missed.  We are eagerly anticipating the arrival of a beloved member of the family and can’t wait until we’re able to do some of the aforementioned tasks together. 

Living with a toddler, however, I have FINALLY learned that telling of an arrival or event too far in advance spells disaster — ‘When is FILL IN THE NAME OF THE PERSON OR EVENT going to COME/ARRIVE/BE, Mama?’ to the 359th power! 

Another opportunity at this time of year is looking ahead to the next year along with reflecting on the one that is about to end.  Some sites feature opportunities to figure out what this year was all about and naming it at the end.  However, for me, it worked much better to name the year ahead of time and to try to live with my intention in the forefront of my mind, ideally, leading me toward my goal.

2010 for me was ‘change’.  We were at the end of figuring out if we were going to live with the family with which we had been blessed or if I was going to continue to bang my head against a proverbial (and decidedly infertile) wall.  I thought my husband’s job was going to provide for a move for us this past summer, but instead we were presented with a new opportunity for him which also allowed us to stay in our current home – quite a blessing as we love our neighbors and friends here.  I wanted to be prepared to embrace the change and shift the way I approached things.  And, now it seems we will be moving this summer, so I have continued to try to change what we keep and what we purge in terms of things. 

As I look ahead at 2011 I will utilize several sites to figure out what I would like to be intentional about in my thoughts and actions.  Iwill keep you updated as to what I choose. 

Have you picked a word to sum up your year? Care to share what it was/is?  Did it fit?


Sitting in church this morning with our two-year-old, I was looking around at several families with new babies (and/or some on the way).  It appears that many are growing by leaps and bounds.  On any given week, I can name at least 1 and a half hands full of families with in excess of 4 children. Some may say it has to do with being (fill in the blank) religion. It doesn’t matter which one, from my observation, as it seems that many with a close, traditional relationship with God and regular attendance at some form of service choose to have (or allow) many children into their lives.

It struck me as puzzling that God chooses to give the family near the front row eight, that’s right people, eight children when there are other families that are complete with just two adults.  Granted some of those two people families are such by choice, but others aren’t.  I just don’t always get the grand plan, but I guess I’m not on a need-to-know basis with God re: that subject. 

It feels as though I (can’t speak for my other half) am just about content with God’s plan for us, but every once in a while there’s a twinge.  The other day, for example, I was walking through the hospital when the announcement chime went off on the overhead and was then followed by that sweet little lullabye they play when a new baby is born.  I teared up.  Not sure why. Perhaps mourning those who never made it or maybe it was gratitude over the one who did.