Maybe it’s an innocent question like the one my 7-year-old asked this morning.
“What was your first word, Mommy?”
“I don’t know, Sweetie.”
And, I probably never will. When you have a parent with dementia that’s how you roll. Now, in fairness, she didn’t always remember those little details when she was still herself, so if I start to have too big a pity party nudge me, will ya?!
These little moments are reminders from God to enjoy these times and appreciate the simple things. Try to get this information while you can and tuck it away. Appreciate that you’ve had your mother in your life into her 80s and know that there are families out there right now reeling from the loss of a parent or facing some difficult times where they are praying and enjoying their time now. These people are working to be “present”.
I was standing outside church yesterday talking with another woman and remarked at how busy this month of October is getting. It seems I’m always focused on the future because each weekend seems packed with activities. I even heard myself say, “It’s so easy not to be present in the now when always anticipating the next appointment or engagement.”
Wow, thanks for that nudge, Big Guy.
So today, I am working hard at enjoying the now and celebrating the victories of the ones around me (both physically and in my heart). And I plan to toast them later with a cup of Butternut Squash soup! Cheers!
Our little one has some more words I wanted to make sure to share and capture for her for someday. They include:
“Ma-Mazing” – This is a term that is often exclaimed. e.g. when a hair bow or blanket are put onto the dog (“Poor Fing”).
“Tuddles” – Living in Germany we have rather varied weather. Some days it’s like, “if you don’t like the weather wait 15 minutes.” However, lately we’ve had a bit of rain. This presents an opportunity to splash in the “tuddles”. Try it!
And finally, when asking this little imp how much Mommy or Daddy love her she replies with outstretched arms, “TOO MUCH!” — Not possible, Poopsie, but we get the idea!
Last Friday I was getting onto a trans-Atlantic flight with my now 13-month-old daughter. Evidently, the way to part a crowd at an airport gate is to carry said child toward the gate agent. Those folks parted like the Red Sea. You could feel them cringe as they spotted the ONE and ONLY baby on the flight. They all then began praying the rosary, or so it seemed, that we were not seated anywhere near them. Perhaps there was a grave error and we were miraculously on some OTHER flight…anywhere else, in fact!
When we got on the plane (after boarding before the regular lemmings — thank God for some benes, but after the bigshots and big spenders) I casually mentioned to the man behind us that I’d had her volume switch removed prior to boarding and therefore the flight was destined to be a quiet one. Well, this child was a doll and didn’t bother a soul for NINE, count ’em, NINE hours. She did finally decide to sleep about 40 minutes from landing, bless her little active heart, but otherwise enchanted most of coach. What a trooper!
It’s amazing how a year can go by for years and you never really noticed. Well, this particular year…from February 12, 2007 to February 12, 2008 was one that didn’t just slip by.
This is the first year of Abigail’s life. I’m sure next year, I’ll be saying the same…how amazing it is…how much she’s changed, but, somehow the firsts are so incredible. The change from a “fresh from the womb” creature to a babbling, beaming, squirming ball of love is tremendous. And, I can’t decide which is more fun. I think that’s God’s way of exercising his sense of humor…daring us…”Go ahead, try to pick just one!”
The first tooth, the first word, the first foods, giggle, smile, (and I won’t even go into the bodily functions, but you know they capture our attention, too) are all something to marvel at. We cherish our little Love Bug and can’t wait for all the future firsts, but without rushing it. We’re enjoying them and the pace she and God have agreed upon.
We love you, Abigail.